If you feel tired just thinking about your schedule, email and to-do’s, try this Supermom life hack and “Close the Loop”
Do you like to think about things before taking action? When you get an email about a party, a request for donation or volunteering, do you give yourself time to think about it? When someone asks you a question you don’t know the answer to like, “What should we do for spring break this year?” what do you do?
Moms today are often the organizers for the family calendar. When we are asked a question that doesn’t have a clear yes or a clear no, it goes into our mental “think about it” file. The problem is, all these open loops and indecisions drain our energy. It takes energy to remember to get back to that person, do research or weigh the pros and cons. It’s an invisible energy leak that we don’t even realize drains us. If your email inbox is full of things you need to action on, you probably are guilty of keeping too many open loops.
Supermoms who want to accomplish a lot in a day, and still have energy at the end of it, close as many loops as possible. They have learned to book that dentist appointment 6 months from now, say yes or no to that evite (you can always change your mind), give a clear answer to volunteering or donating (they will always ask again). Making decisions clears our energy. When we “put it in the back of our mind”, it keeps us energetically tied to that person and that future event. Too many of these open loops and our energy resources get depleted.
Let’s say you need more information before you can make a decision, respond with “I will let you know by 3/1” and put that date on your calendar. Then pick a day and time to “research family camps” and put that action on your calendar and out of your mind. When you calendar your to-do’s, the only thing you need to remember is to check your calendar.
Your energy goes where your attention goes so if your attention is being pulled in 50 different directions, you will feel exhausted. As you learn to rely on your calendar and can trust yourself to follow through, you will increase your energy and accomplish more in a day.
Emilia felt busy and overwhelmed all the time. With two young children, a part time job, a dog, a house, and a husband who traveled, she could barely make it through the day. She knew there were highly productive people in the world who were WAY busier than she was and got a lot more accomplished. It bugged her knowing it was possible to do more with more energy, but she didn’t know how to do it.
Emilia stopped writing her to-do lists on paper and started putting them on her google calendar. Her calendar was synced with her phone and laptop so wherever she was she had access to her calendar. Whenever a question came up she couldn’t answer right then, she would put it on her calendar whatever the next action step was. “Ask Sophie if she wants to go to girl scout camp. If yes, fill out form. If no, recycle.” Some days she didn’t want to do what the calendar told her so she would just move it to another date or decide not to do it. It took getting used to, but she felt like a superstar with all she was able to accomplish and found herself able to say yes to more fun things.
Remember to write “actionable steps” on your calendar: write email, call Mom, schedule appointment, research mortgage rates for 15 minutes, etc. If you just write “summer camp” or “dog” on your calendar it may be hard to remember what you planned to do. Any time you schedule “research” or “plan” or other internet related perusing, be sure to put a time limit on it. The internet will suck all your time and energy up like a black hole if we aren’t focused and clear on our goals.
Not sure what’s draining your energy? Imagine you wake up every morning with a fully charged battery. Where does most of your energy go? Are you at 10% before 10:00am? Kids take a lot of our attention and therefore a lot of our energy, but see if you have any other “open loops” that need closing. Sometimes a negative relationship with a loved one can be a big energy drain but a 15 minute “close the loop” conversation will recharge you back to 100%. A job or commute you hate but feel trapped in can take up a lot of your personal energy. Cluttered rooms, a cluttered schedule and a cluttered mind are silent, secret energy drains. Making time to close these open loops will have tremendous payoffs in your energy.
Not sure where to start? Go to www.lifecoachingforparents.com/work-with-me and together we’ll create an action plan you can be motivated to tackle.