Should I go or not?

Are you dreading an event that you’ve decided to go to?

I’m trying to decide if I should go to my class reunion. It starts in two hours so I can’t procrastinate any more. No one I was close to in high school is going to be there so it will just be vaguely familiar names and faces, that I will probably never see again.

I don’t feel strongly about going, or not going, which makes decision making difficult.

Are you going to an event, even if though it make you feel uncomfortable?

Maybe it’s your school auction, family reunion, class reunion, or work party that you feel obligated to go to? Going into an unfamiliar setting with unfamiliar people is awkward for many of us. As I get ready to go to my class reunion tonight, I’m pulling out two life coaching tips I use in situations like this and I thought I’d share them with you.

  1. One way to get people to connect with you is to make yourself vulnerable (teenage girls are really good at this). It’s counter intuitive because when we are nervous, we tend to put up our protective shields and act “cool”. But if you can humble yourself in some way, others will connect more easily and feel invested in your well being. Tell someone that you feel nervous or uncomfortable not having anyone to sit with. Ask for advice with something simple like, “Where should I put my coat?” or “What drink should I get?” I’ve got a button on my dress that I can’t reach. Instead of working on it, I decided to leave it unbuttoned, then ask someone in the ladies room to fasten it for me. People like to help others so just by lowering yourself a little, you can make them feel good about being around you, making a slightly deeper connection than small talk provides.
  2. When I think about walking in there by myself tonight, I feel nervous about so much unfamiliarity. It’s overwhelming. By narrowing my focus, I can feel calmer and more in control. So instead of thinking about everyone else, I set an intention to experience something I value. You can choose to focus on enjoying food other people have prepared for you. Maybe you value new restaurants to explore or maybe there is one person you are looking forward to seeing? I know that people will be asking the very broad and annoying question “So what have you been up to for the last decade?” So I’ve decided to tell them about the up and coming projects I’m excited about (my new Supermom is Getting Tired podcast and facebook group!) These projects are much more interesting to me than my past and make me more excited about having the same conversation over and over again.

If you’ve decided to do something, you aren’t sure you want to do. Try these two tricks to enjoy yourself more. Humble yourself so that others can feel helpful and invested in your success, and set the intention to experience something you value. Thinking about your favorite conversation topic, beautiful scenery, or discovering a great new show to watch on Netflix, can make you feel in control.

Most people regret the things in life they don’t do, more than the things they do. So when in doubt, say yes.

 

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